So after a bit of a baron spell between the sheets, I managed to get my freak on again last night. Phew. I was starting to think my charm was eroding and I'd have to get myself a dog....or just start paying for it.
Before I go into how I managed to schmooze this poor girl into bed, I want to bring up a point that really irritates me in the online dating world. This is a conversation I had earlier this week with a girl that winked at me i.e she made first contact.
Me: Thanks for the wink. How was your weekend?
Her: Hi. Had a great weekend. Was out with work friends on friday night, then down by the river for lunch with some girlfriends on saturday. Sunday I did the family thing and saw my parents and brother. What about you?
Me: I was out and about locally with a friends. Nothing too hectic. Few beers and watching a bit of sport. Have you got much planned this week?
Her: Taking clients out for lunch on tuesday evening and I've got my body combat class on thursday. Then the weekend comes around again!
Me: Cool. We should try and catch up for a drink sometime soon
Her: We've only just started talking. I don't know anything about you!!! You're very direct aren't you?
Does she want me to foward a dossier from the embassy about my every move since birth? Surely the whole point of meeting up is to get to know someone. My understanding is, you look at someone's profile pictures, if you like what you see, you then go into their profile and have a read, after which you make contact. Or for most guys, you look at the profile pictures, make contact if she looks hot, then read up on what she's all about once she agrees to a date. How many emails is this girl expecting before we actually meet? I've got better things to do than have hours of general chit chat with a complete stranger. Anyway, back to me getting laid last night.....
I was fairly excited about the date as from her profile pictures, she was very much my type. Dark haired, petite, pretty face and 9 years younger than me. Thats how I roll. We met at Waterloo - I try and justify to myself that I'm making a big effort if I meet girls that live the other side of London there as it sounds fairly central - but in reality its a 5 minute train journey for me from Clapham Junction, so really I'm just being a lazy twat.
On first impressions, I was more than happy. She was the girl I'd been most attracted to at first glance since I started online dating, so as we headed to the bar , I was a content man.
As we settled into the evening, the conversation was flowing, but even after a few drinks I could sense that she draws out her stories a bit too much and the voice was pretty monotone. Now, as I've said before, after a few drinks my accent is bordering on Danny Dyer's over the top cockney - its like I'm riddled with it - but at least there is some expression there.
She told one story about an online date that had travelled down to London from Birmingham a few weeks back. It was a daytime meet and he took her for a stroll down the Embankment, which could be quite a winner. Unfortunately for her, all he spoke about as they took a gentle walk by the river was if she owned crutchless knickers and was into using sex toys. She thought it was disgusting, I had quiet admiration for his upfront nature. Anyway, She managed to make her excuses and leave, but this reiterates my point of not travelling too far on a first date.
Although I was zoning out a fair bit during the stories of when her grandad died and how she has just been made redundant, I was also very attracted to her. I thought I'd subtly step up the flirting levels just to see what sort of response I'd get, so we started talking about previous flings we'd had with online dates. She told me her tally was shagging one guy who she saw for a few months, so now that was the benchmark I toned mine down a bit. I let her know that I had previously slept with one online date and she asked two questions - what did she do (workwise)? and did you sleep with her on the first night?. I replied air stewardess and yes. Her retort - " What a slag" -....how she'll be regretting that line today....
As she had recently been made redundant, I knew she didn't have to get up for work in the morning. Although this obviously wasn't ideal for her, I saw it as a good angle to get her back to mine. I rolled out all the cliches of good things happen to good people, fate will take its course, the only way is up...blah blah. She was responding favourably and when I suggested going for a few more drinks in the Clapham area, she agreed. He he.....
So from here on in it was plain sailing. A couple more drinks at my trusty local tapas bar and then back to mine. With Justin Timberlake on in the background, we got down to business. She had a great little body and lets just say, she wasn't shy, so a fun evening was had by all...I think.
Luckily, she had some agency interviews to be getting to this afternoon, so left mid morning. We have arranged to meet again this weekend. I'm very attracted to her, so I'm hoping I'm just being overly critical of her monotone voice and really she's a bundle of laughs.....I can't see it
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