As Expected, Not A Raging Success

This applies to all dates, but especially the first. Never ever meet when you're hammered and she is sober - it ll never be a pretty outcome. I knew this but thought I'd run the risk.

By the time my date came to join us in Clapham at around 9, myself and friends had been drinking and doing other perishables for a few hours. The rate of chat had got to such a level, no one was pausing for breath. My jaw was now out of control and pupils getting bigger by the minute. I was in a good place though. Not sure my date was going to be too impressed....

To be fair, I managed to hold it together fairly well while initially chatting to her and her frineds, but it would all go down hill rapidly. By the time we arrived at the bar opening, I was coming up on a couple of pills and was on a totally different planet. I managed to get a one on one with my date which probably wasnt the best idea and her comments on me were - you seem like a player and although you have denied it to my friend, you're on drugs. My word how observant women can be. I always take it when a woman says player, that basically means she is attracted to you, so if I could just sort out my grinding jaw issues, it may get back on track...

As I looked round, all my friends were sat at the same table but clearly on different levels. Luckily my brother was in there relatively sober and endeavoured to entertain her and her friends for a while.

I'd now caught the attention of another girl, and she joined us at our table. I was so out of it and ended up kissing her in full view of everyone. As I got up to go to the bar, my date came over, kissed me too and then slapped me round the face. I think it was a see what your missing you t*sser type thing. That was the last I saw of her unsuprisingly and to be fair by the time a few of us headed back to mine for an after party in the early hours, I'd totally forgotten she'd even turned up.

That, for sure, will be the first and last date I turn up on in that state. Not a great idea. I quite fancied her too, so think I will contact her to see the damage. I'm sure she won't pick up, but if you don't buy a ticket....